Y’all are in your mid-30s, C.U.M.; it’s time to start referring to her as a woman.

Don’t have anything to add but I must say this was a very poignant and well-written paragraph. Cheers to you.

And that motorcycle had only 2 days until retirement!

I’m against Dolores now because she sacrificed that innocent, loyal motorcycle.

I love my children so, so much and having now been in the same house as them for 24 hours a day for three weeks, I am really thinking about the merits of boarding school.

I cried like a tiny baby birthday girl at the end. Anyone who says they didn’t is lying.

Between being a culture war battle and a punchline, a lot of people forget Brokeback Mountain is a great film.

Sorry you’re too bored to be funny.

Hugh Briss is my porn name

This movie should just be renamed “Hubris: The Musical”.

I was at Rite Aid today buying my essential supply of beer, and I wore a hat, mask, and gloves. I kept think ‘what a hell of a situation.’ Getting shot at Rite Aid for wearing a mask felt like a last month problem, but black and brown can never allow ourselves to get comfortable. America’s consistency can show up…

Wells said the officer “was mistaken when it came to the store’s policy prohibiting masks” and it was “the one error” made in the incident.

As dgstan shows, being a piece of shit is a full-time job. You can’t take a day off. Some might say “Hey, this is a pretty tough story, maybe I should take a break from being a gross dumbfuck,” but not dgstan. He’s committed to being garbage until he dies alone. Great job dgstan.

A significant percentage of the folks who voted for the current occupant of the White House did it for one reason: they were bitter and resentful of what Obama had done during his eight years, and they wanted as much of it rolled back as possible. And he’s doing exactly that.

The second one. 

Dear Nobody,

I cannot for the life of me understand such dudes.

All you dudes out there that won’t go down on your women should take that first letter as an object lesson.

This is a good idea, and here is why.

Heavily vegetable-topped pizzas can have a lot of water on top if they are prepared incorrectly; and cutting said pizza will lead to a box so soggy that the pizza falls through it onto my shoes which WERE flyknit Nikes and now I have hot pizza water BURNING MY FEET and that’s how…