Good God. Re-reading the initial reports brought back just what a sadistic fuck Adrian Peterson is. I forgot about the kid being scared of his father punching him in the face if he talked about it, and having a “whooping room”. Fuck Adrian Peterson. He should be in fucking jail.

So wait - how many times has he been on the DL?

Bring out the highlight truthers! Who will be the first to shit all over this one?

That's so awesome that humorless cunts like yourself are still out there, telling people what is okay for everyone to laugh at and whatnot. Good job, humorless cunt. Good job.

I loved this comment, but doesn’t that photo look doctored a little? “Because she’ll still be hot in 4 years” is not a slogan I remember being tossed around in 2012 for Palin. Perhaps it was meant to be ironic when it was taken?

Meh. It’s Deadspin, not the New York Times. Sports news without favor or discretion. If she didn’t want to be bitch-hunted, she shouldn’t act like a shrieking cunt when she knows she is being filmed.

Not to mention all the wonderful things humans do to each other. Not that I generally object.

Our comprehension of our destruction of the planet and the existential threat we pose to literally every other species on Earth doesn't negate the fact that humans are a disease. Fuck humans. We're the most boring species on Earth and we're going to kill everything that is special about the world we live in. And…

There is no other species on Earth that, if they went extinct, the rest of the species on Earth would benefit dramatically from humans being gone. Unless you count viruses and diseases...which is kind of my point.

Someday, something exactly like this will happen, and there will be no takes. No one will care or be offended or have to dissect the statement through various societal prisms in order to sound enlightened. Someday everyone will shrug, and have no hot taek to offer. This will be a good day.

Iowa buying Joe Namath jerseys is very strange. Who are Iowans trying to impress? Go buy a fucking Walter Payton jersey like you should be, assholes.

"I don't see what the big deal is."

WHAT THE FUCK IS A HEREO

He'll understand. He STILL says "Brent Favre".

I grew up loving the NFL, and bonding with my father at Soldiers Field in Chicago. I'm (perhaps sadly) at my happiest when watching a good football game.

Thanks Tom. Hopefully I won't be such a butthole this afternoon.

This is satire, right? Please say this is satire. @deadspincommenter is looong overdue.

It's people like you that make me hate the internet. Deadspin is full of you clones - you all think that you're too interesting to be impressed by anything. Go fuck yourself with a fire hydrant, you unoriginal fuckboy.

I hate to tell you this, fucktard, but even if you do break a law, that doesn't mean that you should be immediately put down like a rabid dog in the middle of the street. Terrorists, rapists, child molesters all get their day in court - but apparently, to most of white America, that shouldn't be the case with black…

Oh, you're one of those cool internet assholes who is impressed by nothing. Sweet bro