Guys, “This is America” is a darkly comic music video with highly symbolic subject matter that was released for maximum web exposure, it’s not Schindler’s List. There’s room for memeing and parody.

The original Brendan Fraser Mummy movie is a lot of fun. It was more Indiana Jones then classic Mummy stuff but it’s worth a watch. The sequels are not.

Oh, and I recently came across this and can’t stop watching it.

I love mummy movies, so this week I watched two that I had never before seen: Curse of the Faceless Man and Eyes of the Mummy. As it turned out, neither movie had a mummy! I had been led to believe the faceless man was going to be an Etruscan mummy, but he was in fact a wad of hardened ash, or something like that. He…

You don’t consider the Capital One Venture Card and it’s double cash back to be a form of ass kicking?

That movie gets me, too. My mom loves it and makes a big deal of calling/texting me whenever it’s on TV in the weeks leading up to Christmas, so it’s always had a special place in my heart.

Christ, The Dukes of Hazzard. How do you fuck up a movie so badly that it has a scantily-clad Jessica Simpson and it still isn’t worth watching?

(*sigh* I’m not even sure why I’m doing this)

Going the opposite direction, I had an uncontrollable fit of laughter in the theater at the end of Se7en. I couldn’t stop laughing when Brad Pitt started yelling “What’s in the box?”

How to Train Your Dragon from the moment Toothless saves Hiccup’s father until the credits roll, I am a sobbing mess.

Even worse is that Miller claimed he was big buddies with Will Eisner and wanted to make the movie so no one else “ruined” the Spirit. Of course, Miller’s movie has exactly nothing to do with Eisner’s everyman character, who was simply a vehicle for telling small-scale, humanist stories.

That’s a bad joke. It sounds like its always expiring, right?

I thought that was in Forever? I know that was the expiration date.

I’ve seen the Justice League TV movie mentioned here, and “staggeringly bad” is an accurate description. David Ogden Stores from M*A*S*H* is trying his best as a staggeringly miscast Martian Manhunter being a mentor to new recruit, who I think was either Fire or Ice, but it’s been far too long that I can’t remember…

You didn’t even mention the Bat Credit Card. What were the Bat Interest Rates? Did he get Bat Cash Back? There are so many questions left unanswered.

Taken as a single film, it isn’t the worst - I enter into evidence: The Spirit.

Plus, unlike Malkmus, he actually had some singing ability.

I’m really struggling with that Ocean’s 8 thumbnail. How are those not both Sandra Bullock? Same nose, same jawline, same ears, even!

hollywood middle class.

You want him to destroy your fragile ecosystem?