You shouldn’t give them large raw bones because they can be full of germs (and if they weren’t at first, they will be once your dog has dragged them all over the yard.)

What are these people all bent out of shape about?

What makes YOU the fucking exper.... *reads name*

“You know how everybody driving faster than you is a lunatic? And how everybody driving slower is an asshole? And the asshole’s always driving a Saaaaaaaaab?”

Not everyone’s a good TypeR.

Also: wear a belt.

Look motherfucker, I’d be a better driver too if I had Tim Horton’s coffee and Timbits fueling my commute.

They may “get it” when they’re driving in Canada. But plenty of Canadian snowbirds drive like schmucks in the left lane while wintering in Arizona.

I was just saying the other day that what we need here in NJ is more commercial land development.

WE could totally start that up, if there isnt’ one already. Maybe get in on some of that sweet non-profit funds! Church of the Mole People. “we are responsible for putting all the fake dinosaur fossils deep underground”.

I watched that just for the cleavage.....

Riding a motorcycle has made me a much better driver. In the parking lots, I look for moving shadows under cars. I always approach intersections as if people are running red lights and stop signs. I also feel like I’m more cautious of my surroundings.

You’re wrong.

I do have an amateur garage next to my house. The guy who rents it has two Gen 2 RX-7 drift cars that he works on. Nobody minds as long as he’s not revving the heavily modified, unmuffled monsters all night long. Really, nobody cares.

“you look like you’ve fallen over in the playground”

Little known fact: this is how the Forester was born.

“This is the way the dream of the Toyobaru turbo fanboy ends, not with a whoosh, but a whimper.” 

Drive in reverse

Add an inability to maintain a consistent speed to lane integrity. I pass someone with cruise set to 70 and then 5 miles later they pass me back and then 5 miles after that I’m stuck side by side with them because they’re 68-72 and everyone behind us gets frustrated and I don’t particularly want to speed too fast but…

Funny how we may all argue and differ on the idea of the “Best” car, but we all tend to agree on the “Worst.”