Bob sounds so concerned for Darren in those photos. "The hell is going on here? Guys, what's happening here? "

You're the right kind of crazy, kiddo.

It's like they told them both to smoulder at the camera. At different cameras. In different rooms.

Exactly! Of course, there are all of his other imaginary wives to deal with, but I'll save that problem for another day.

Sometimes I genuinely feel bad for Dornan because I think this movie has the potential to really hurt his rep and then I remember that I'm feeling bad for a successful underwear model who just made a ton of money.

So when I pretend to be married to a famous actor NOT THAT I EVER DO THAT YOU GUYS, I also pretend There Are No Sex Scenes because I think I really would stress over them like crazy.

This is the love child of Seth Rogen and James Franco.

Next Bob will demand an apology from anyone who has suggested his young girlfriend is only with him for his money.

For all the Patriots playoff games this year, my sons and I have all donned our No. 12 Tom Brady jerseys. We wore them because Brady is so darn good, so darn handsome

"Can you imagine the scenario where the umpire goes to spot the ball and "feels" like the ball is underinflated and decides to stop the game to weigh the ball just to make sure? "

My take as someone whose officiated.

When Bill Bellichick heard the news of this report earlier tonight, he promptly fired the team's equipment manager for failing to do his fucking job right by not under-inflating that 12th goddamned football.

It doesn't even have to be as severe as abuse. I'm a pretty successful adult, if by which you mean good job, happily married, great kid, no addiction or alcoholism. But my mom's tendency to minimize anyone else's emotions and make everything about her* left me with some issues as an adult - I'm extremely sensitive to…

I think sometimes abusive parents have a tendency to believe the lies they've told themselves about how wonderful their children's childhoods were. Particularly if their children turned out to be decent adults.

"In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind."

Agreed. Bruce Jenner is a fucking American treasure.

Their cover is just as the prophecy foretold! REPENT! REPENT!

Thank you! Here's an otter for your troubles.

I would honestly rather have my fingernails pulled than be subject to this level of personal management. Given the choice between Hell or being a member of a sorority I would choose Hell in an instant, unless Hell is actually one huge sorority where it is rush week all the time.

Other than InTouch being assholes, and Kris having the emotional development of a 10 year old, my main takeaway from this is that Khloe is great.