If Jim Tomsula found free shoes, he would immediately be known as “Jim Tomshoela”, and YOU KNOW IT.

“Hey man, free shoes!” -Jim Tomsula 

Yeah, Stoner Uncle is fine. Tobacco chewing Uncle that leave spit cups everywhere, is not.

To be fair, Brad Pitt’s been wearing the same outfit since 1998.

While Obi-Wan stood the high ground, you studied the blade.

“many historians do not deny that”

ohhhhhh, that’s where Trump gets “many people are saying.” 

You’ll be right if your guess is: the people who don’t like teenage girl groping, sports game ruining, immature assholes who try to make up shitty nicknames for Toronto.

...

Which is just one more reason most of Toronto hates Drake.

Drake just wanted to let Green know that he’s so not a fan of his that he doesn’t even have his number tattooed upon his body

I been looking at Drake lyrics and I’m pretty sure it was Drake (who’s from Toronto, right?) who raps about “the 6ix”?

he went on a little tangent about how, actually, it was not a scuffle

Mmmmm. Uncooked, room temperature beef.

If anything, it seems like red meat for the non-progressive readers to come in and rage against. 

I’m learning there is always going to be someone like you in the comments.

If only Ruben Rivera had been on the bases for this.

It’s all part of the plan to put the Orioles into a better position to draft Zion.

Sushi doesn’t go with crackers.

What’s the chances she lied about her age also?

I keep thinking that Holzhauer, like Ben Richards in The Running Man, is doing too well, so they’re going to have bring the old champion out of retirement to try to beat him, and in this scenario Ken Jennings is Jesse “The Body” Ventura as Captain Freedom.