I always heard Preparation H is the quick fix.

And when you're Robert Smith on Halloween you should wash your eyeliner off before going to bed. At the very least don't just use soap and a washcloth the next day because you're gonna be roughed UP by the time you get it off! (I got some cold cream by the last time I did it, on his birthday in college) (the advent…

I had a guy earnestly argue that there shouldn't be an overdue fee since he *had* returned the book.

The thing is that's the kind of person who'll say "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!"

"Because I'm magic." I've said to library patrons.

"Don't try, you'll only owe money on top of it!"

Goddamn Right.

Bacon bits. I prefer McCormick. The cap is a good serving size.

Nice. A1 on fries is good stuff.

It's a natural step if they're sharing a plate with some manner of sauced meat. There they are, the excess sauce and the absorbent potatoes....already so close. Cut out the flirting and just start there!

Hell Yeah

Yeah, starting from the Casino Royale opening he was much, much more Indiana Jones than previous Bonds. "Oh, you're Spider-Man, huh? Fine, I'll just bang through this wall."

I love "You Know My Name" and Chris definitely has a voice. Sheryl Crow is the one who was ill-equipped. (k.d. lang's "Surrender" being placed at the end is SHAMEFUL—there's a YouTube video where someone put it rightfully at the front.)

No, no, I was kidding, he's acting like a Deadspin Boston fan.

I just wanted to compliment you on your use of Grand Moff Tarkin.

What is it that's surprising you?

I think you're right, I haven't been getting quite the right bird. And yes, it's not *necessary*, but it feels so FEASTLY to just have whole thing there in front of you, like George Costanza and his block of cheese, but better.

I want you to remember…in all the years to come…in your most private moments…I want you to remember…my hand…at your throat…I want…you to remember…the one man who beat you.

Is Toby Jones out of work?