Yes, all of this.

My horse will cut a bitch to get at a piece of watermelon. One time I brought watermelon to the herd and got caught in the middle of what was basically a fruit riot.

This is the best title of any Jez post, ever.

SO MUCH GAME.

And make sure that your Weiner is visible while you’re doing it!

I love Ondine. Such lovely magical realism. Such beautiful dirty scraggly Colin. Such poetic visuals.

I know AA has a new boss, but you might consider Alternative Apparel instead...

Um, earth to Charlie, you were all, like, ‘Micronesia,’ and I was all, like, ‘I said Malaysia, like you didn’t KNOW it was a joke!’

Clearly the solution is:

How about the lady scratching her eyeball? That lady kills me.

I love that half the damned audience had no farging clue who Luther was/what was happening/why they were such chumps.

I think there is a new wave coming. It’s going to be made up of all the girls taking robotics classes in 8th grade right now, who are on the archery team, whose heroes are Joss Whedon and Suzanne Collins, who have 5 different pieces of technology in their dirty Timbuk2 bag, who kick ass at Telltale and WoW, who could…

The part in S&S that always kills me is the first time he comes through the door and sees Marianne playing the piano and singing. GHGHGHGGHHIOEITHWIETHWHLGH)$*%^()##&^&#&^#WRJJ!!!(*!&*$!

OK I keep reading the words ‘SQUIRTY POOP’ over and over and each time I laugh harder and cry more.

That guy is a whiner. I knew assistants back in the day who bought prostitutes for studio execs and had them flown all over the world for them. Like, basically, human traffickers. Nut up, guy!

Back in teh day when I worked in PR, when Alan Rickman would call whoever picked it up would secretly ping everyone else so they could also pick up and listen in...JUST SO WE COULD LISTEN TO HIS VOICE.

+10

It’s like Ms. Norbury said in ‘Mean Girls’ - we have GOT to stop calling each other sluts and whores! It just makes it OK for guys to call us sluts and whores!

Yeah both of those teensies are amazing. That shit they are doing is not easy! It’s hard for humans that age to walk in a straight frigging line!