Please don’t let it be Tom Hanks, which was the name that sprung to my mind. I’d die inside.

Thank you for explaining the television

Yeah I don’t think that last line is enough. The headline – and essentially the whole post – is pretty much stirring shit like, “smile pretty, honey.”

Although, this post actually references Julia’s speech, so... it’s odd. It’s an odd post.

But not you, Larry David in the background chewing gum. Keep on Sandersing, it’s cute when you boys look grouchy or like humans with inner lives!

*Julia should smile more

Omigod she is my HERO! (Not pregnant but that bullshit gives me rage stroke.)

I need a picture of the dog to determine how I feel about it.

If she bothers you that much, just unfollow her.

I am so fucking team Iron Man after this shit.

Dear Olivia Wilde: fucking tell me about it. If I weren’t such a nice person I’d start assaulting people with my belly just to get them to let me sit down on occasion. (As is, I’m just gonna stay on this bike for as long as I can...)

I nominate Tamal as the runner up for Most Scrummy. Ruby is too thin for my personal taste, but something about her haunting beauty leads me to enter her name on the list as well.

He just got married, and Richard and Chetna made the cakes! Except for the centerpiece, which Ian made. It was ... baked Alaska. Good on ya, mate!

I binged the first 6 seasons throughout December, right after our cat died. It was so comforting and so soothing and one of the only things that made me laugh. Sue & Mel are at least 60% of what makes the show great. So sad right now.

NORMAN IS SCOTTISH NOT IRISH

is ice t the sound of one man arguing?

Elba’s a handsome, charming talented guy. Why wouldn’t he be a “thing,” if presumably you like Tatum for the exact same reasons?

Whoops— that should read “lacked self awareness”

have an attorney’s name and contact information in my phone, will/should the police allow me to access it once I’ve been arrested?

Currently snorting my birth control off of the back of a bar toilet while googling clinics that perform hysterectomies on otherwise healthy 30-year-olds.