A first-draft Deschanel, perhaps.

Purgatory, man. Time doesn't work the same.

"Guess I'm off the hook in all of those missing-persons investigations!"

is Chris Hansen going to be left behind with the rest of us heathens

I think this might be a case where you might actually be morally obligated to pirate it rather than throwing these folks money.

Agent Preach Fundie!

In Left Behind, millions of people—many of them children, the
rest pure of heart and intention—suddenly and simultaneously blip out of
existence, piles of empty clothes marking the final spot of land they
occupied.

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need right now.

lemme guess, you'll also listen to anything except country and rap

I vote Truancy Park becomes a contestant on this show, so that we can get a live reading of this comment.

Really? Out of the whole Beatles catalog, you single out "Yesterday" for smart lyrics?

and Alabama pirating The Sims 2

—You'll need a torrenting client. I use Transmission. The base BitTorrent client from their website works perfectly fine, especially if you're just starting out and don't really need a zillion features. Other people might have other recommendations. Downloading a torrenting client is 100% legal and not even…

Lighten up, Francis.

Or, you know, the show could also show him having a relationship with a man. Is your argument seriously "Well, their options are to do it terribly or not at all?"

Oh god, yes. The hosts have good taste, but they need to talk about half as much as they do. The interview episodes are the absolute worst.

These non-Pixar Cars sequels have really taken a weird turn.

this may be the greatest headline in human history

The Mark Waid 4-issue mini from a few years ago is very good.

I never thought I'd be against a Doctor Strange film—I even think the weird and bad TV movie (pilot?) from the 70s had its moments—but dang, Marvel is doing a good job at hitting all my "so this is going to suck" buttons.