Make fun of me and my two beers all you want, you know it’s going to be forty five minutes before that waitress comes back.

Well la-dee-da Mr. PhD!

What else could I possible breathe out of? My ears?! Moron!

Yea, and by then their underwater stadiums will be packed. Stuffed to the gills, if you will.

“No, I said one day I’m gonna steal your can, sir! Be patient!”

This is the worst conversation ever to appear on the internet.

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years.…

Is Towns the world’s youngest Karl (including Carl)? I’d wager that he is.

This is the wrong attitude to have in regards to politics. Politics are a serious matter with actual ramifications on our daily lives.

I’m pretty sure it’s just LaVar in a series of ridiculous disguises that don’t work.

“LaVar Ball told Jeff Goodman that he’ll deputize a trio of Ball uncles to accompany the brothers wherever they go and help prepare them for an NBA future.”

Ahem.

“...where the women are strong, mainly from fighting off unwanted sexual advances.”

Lake Gropey-gone?

“It’s been a gropey week here in Lake Wobegon...”

When they returned, there were no Safelite parades. No one shook their hands. In fact, people spit on them. Well, actually, they spit on the windshields, but still...

Or they could simply cast that delightful actor who played Jeffrey Tambor’s twin brother in Arrested Development. That guy looked almost exactly like Tambor and also had beautiful long hair.

I was going to post some skyrim mod that had pinup models added but this is better:

Hey Mr. Gould! Whatcha gonna do make our dreams come true!

Bad Company 2 is one of the best MP console shooters ever. Gets nowhere near as much love as it deserves.