There's a sale this weekend at Big Umlauts.

The only way it could have been more on-the-nose is if they called it "Flecks of Dried-Up Cocaine"

His face is like a spaghetti cook-off.

Nobody puts Lemmy in a corner, Jerry Orbach.

I don't understand the need for a suit of armor to clean a clock.

(Linda Perry finally figures out what's going on)

Yes, I'm glad they used his good side.

The ace of special features!
The ace of special features!

Depp Punk

There's Nosferatu be afraid of.

Fear and Loathing in Cadott

"Done. And done."

If Johnny Depp existed in a 2-dimensional universe, he'd be Johnny Widd

"I'll knife the bitch."

If Johnny Depp was a bellhop, he'd be Johnny Schlepp

If he was a Siberian grassland, he'd be Johnny Steppe

(William Perry stares into an empty refrigerator)

You got it, blood.

More like a vampire weak end pun.

What a scoop!