A homeless lady once came up to me and told me I look like Steven Wright.

Just don't try and use your cell phone there. Unless you want to pay Roman charges.

And as Zach Braff made clear, I'm no Superman.

*grows Weary of Cotten, wonders if anything Mathers*

February is the shortest month, and as the great Gillette once sang, "I don't want no short, short man".

Trullo roof! Rustic!

HBO First Look: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (3/15)

Rome, if you want to.
Rome, around the world.

NEWS ON THE MARCH!

Beware the ides of HBO March.

That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me.

Addicted to old timey opium! The Shakiest Gunn in the West

That's why Cruz is doing so well, because it reminds them of their trip to Cancun.

Her husband will be like "I'm getting 6 CDs for 1 penny and then I'm gonna fake my own death".

I think Steve Miller said it best when he sang "Big Ole Jeb had a light on".

"Never mind the Bullocks."

Or somebody who is extremely allergic to shellfish. Annaphylactic

Methamphetabeans

Well, it's an excellent blue duck.

Then explain the shitty poll numbers of Jeb Bush.