Never miss an opportunity to blame Chip Kelly.

Robert Kraft will if not doing so costs Robert Kraft money.

SCOTUS is going to get involved? Jesus H Christ...

You know...

...Why...It’s almost like the whole idea of everyone being equally equipped to make major decisions was naive and wrongheaded!

Damn.

I have a feeling that the Third World/Tennessee version of this article is very different.

Wait. Nevermind, just saw your posting history.

Your children, like you, will work at Wal-Mart. So school is irrelevant.

...How about “Lee Actually Didn’t Like Slavery And Was Happy To See It Gone High School”?

Yeah.

Not lie on the Internet from Mom’s basement, like you. That’s for damn sure.

The pity that this was intended to evoke is kind of undercut by the mega-hottie walking out with him.

(Why are we even talking?)

“I really don’t have to prove much”

“How often have you done business in the East”

.....Rednecks?

Look on the bright side, guys!

....Think this would somehow make the average Jalopnik commentator smarter?

“but I have owned several restaurants and nightclubs”