What if you have a small apartment? A human-sized robot made only for fucking is really a big space taker-upper. It’ll either hog most of the closet or stand there in the corner giving you the sexy creeps.

True, but it’s nice to get a whole new set of trite motivational anecdotes to roll your eyes at every few years.

King Bluetooth, c. 944:

Well, that was ... orderly. I’m not sure what I expected. There’s more chaos in my car when I parallel park.

And instead of a talking cat, let’s have a regular cat that Sabrina only THINKS is talking to her, sort of like Son of Sam.

One single reason: Abortion. They want a Team GOP guy - ANY Team GOP guy - in the White House so he can load up the Supreme Court with judges more inclined to overturn Roe v. Wade. Doesn’t matter who he is or what he’s done (or will probably continue to do). He could literally walk into a church mid-sermon, climb onto…

It’s true. He was even gracious enough not to exaggerate (or even really depict at all) a certain physical anomaly that eye think we’re all aware of.

I’m surprised more school districts didn’t lean into this one. The examples I’m hearing of schools that handled it “well” are ones where the superintendent promised not to heap on ADDITIONAL punishments for walker-outers (ie, we won’t cancel prom, we’ll just ding you for skipping class, you filthy little truant). I…

Uncle Jon’s Band

Gag! I keep waiting for it to emerge from underwater ... but it never does! There’s no resolution! It’s infuriating! It’s the audio equivalent of this:

No, there is no national gun registry in the US. People would simply not report gun thefts for fear of being put on death row like some kind of fucked up Franz Kafka novel.

Jackass parents who leave an unlocked gun in the dresser and morons who gift high-capacity semi-autos to underage teens should be held accountable, yes. But the idea of doling out the exact same punishment for even the worst crimes committed with their guns to people who take reasonable and responsible security…

I see where you’re going with this, but off the top of my head I can imagine some scenarios in which this would be just terribly excessive and misguided. If your home gets broken into by someone with the ability to bust a safe, you’re kind of fucked, even though you were the victim of a crime. Or if during a home…

Are we doing butt-hurt again? Someone once told me it was gay-shaming, or anal-shaming, or something, so I let it go from my vocab for a while. But maybe they were wrong. Anyone want to chime in with whether they think this has ever been an actual slur? Or was the person who told me that just being butt-hurt about…

The trick is to retain the emotional development of a 13-year-old throughout your entire adult life.

Then I suppose seatbelts, lifejackets, and motorcycle helmets are out too, right?

Has he been stripped of his veteran status at some point? What makes him a “former vet”?

If you spend your mid-teens through your mid-fifties in a mental institution, then sure, you’ll probably be able to maintain a med routine. But I have trouble believing you’ll be able to live anywhere other than an institution after that.