What cash? You mean this $368 he had? I can’t imagine what happened to all $268 of it. I mean really, are you even sure he had $168 in the car? There’s absolutely no proof...  

Civil forfeiture should nauseate every last person familiar with the concept. Yes, it disproportionately targets and affects minorities and the poor, but even beyond that, it’s a quintessential violation of due process. The burden of proof is basically nonexistent. Recourse and a defense are not guaranteed, and it…

This is the classiest-looking (yet still skimpy) attire of any of your selections in recent COTD awards, $kay—I find it fitting. I may not like Bentleys, but I like this.

It’s accurate! I mean, heavy water’s only available to nuclear physicists, so by definition all that water is “light”, right?

I’m pretty sure if you stuff it with a bunch of rice that it’ll be dry and raring to go in no time.

Well, I’m going to guess it’s the same people who buy Maserati Quattroportes or BMW 6-series Gran Coupes. Those are also gas hogs that cost $120k and don’t drive particularly well.

And in an angry nutshell, you’ve explained why we ought to tax carbon rather than legislate people’s choices.

where the hell did he think he was going to swim to, Bermuda??

Pre-meth:

Surfs him right.

I am disappointed that this article did not take the rare opportunity to use “fenestrated” in a sentence.

This is a dead ringer for the Egyptian mastigure, or uromastyx lizard.