Early on, Han Solo uses a lightsaber to cut open a Tauntaun...

I had it in 1985.  The aftertaste is still lingering.

I’m with you here. The biting tone doesn’t really fit for this piece.

And it doesn’t sound like *he* expects special adulation for being mindful of others, so there’s something that comes off as mean-spirited in that suggestion.

Why be such a buzzkill? This is really thoughtful of him. It’s not bare-minimum considering he really didn’t have to do it. He was going above and beyond to make sure he didn't accidentally make someone uncomfortable.

And your offensive tackles, Henry Facemask and James Holder.

And your wide receiver, Reggie Alligatorarms

Guy named “Chris Blewitt” is gonna be your kicker?  I don’t think so.  Who’s the QB ... Steve Piksix?  

Maybe they should practice more than one kick a day.

They cut Gould for more than just performance reasons...

Yeah, this is about where I fall. Women’s soccer is still developing as a global sport. The difference in resources and just the amount of time different countries have been focusing on the women’s game varies so widely, it’s absolutely unavoidable that there will be games like this.

One thing they ought to do is stop fucking worrying about recreating the situation from last year. They’ve managed to make this A Thing that we’re all going to have to deal with for years.

I like this story because in a way it’s uniquely American. It’s about sporting excellence, pride in your accomplishments and not even pretending to understand the concept of moderation.

I think Fairstein’s portrayal is not only accurate, but probably as flattering as she could possibly expect.

It should also be noted, that by railroading these five young men into confessing to a crime they didn’t commit, the real attacker, Matais Reyes (who had attacked a woman in similar fashion two nights before the Central Park Jogger, an attack where they were able to NAME him as a suspect because of stitches on his chin…

An outright fabrication? One that paints her in a bad light?

Just get rid of him already, all these fucking people and their disgusting fucking edgy streams, learn some manners and laws because this shit is tiring.

Yes.  Arleen Sorkin is the default.

“Because it came dat way on da suit when I stole it! Geez! Whaz wit you nerds?? Everythin’ gotta be somthin’!”