Why wait kid? Hit that pay dirt now!

Goalkeeping isn’t just guesswork, and there’s a zero percent chance you’d get the ball past a pro. I’d even wager a novice soccer player would have zero chance at scoring on an accomplished JV goalie. They read your approach on the ball, and a novice will telegraph to which side their aiming. This is why you see pros…

Amar over Chemerinsky as “the preeminent constitutional scholar”?  If I still had my Constitutional Law and Principles book, I’d throw it down in lieu of a gauntlet.  

Interesting thought! But, just to keep the exercise going because why not we’re on lunch, I don’t think Purge society would prosecute you for any crime you commit on the day of, but wouldn’t let you profit from the crime thereafter and would have civil remedies. A system would probably be put in place to prevent…

Holy shit.  Badass resume!!!

Motion to dismiss in this world—contracts made under duress are not binding.  Motion to dismiss in Purge world--contracts made on Purge day are not enforceable based on a presumption of illegality or formation under duress/coercion.  

Why did I click???  That baby....OW MY HEART!!!!!  Excuse me, going to make a donation to St. Jude’s once my eyes clear.

I just now realized one of the most influential positions in the White House is now Head Chef. “Now Donnie, if you don’t play nice by stopping all this ‘invade Venezuela’ talk, you’ll only get ONE scoop of ice cream, and Pence will get your second scoop.  Keep it up and you won’t get your second-dessert cheeseburger.”

To which anyone should respond, “oh, did you learn a lesson for stumping for one?”

The varied endings of Twisted Metal II.

Walked that shit off with only one shoe on!  MVP!  

I’d go to the gym, but I got kicked out for bringing my bag of chimichangas.  Bros there don’t even know how to cultivate mass!!!  Smh...amateurs.

Except those who have received ocular patdown training...

Someone that wrote a shitty song called “Candy Shop” where he analogizes blowjobs to lollipops.  What a fucking GENIUS!!!

Right, and if they were, then what about middle America, the heartland?  ICE only has authority within 100 miles of a border.  So, what, Kansas should just be at the mercy of the alleged armies of MS13 taking over our country and raping everything in sight?

He’s Lex Luthor, but without the whimsy, sense of style, or intelligence.

There was this one town where a really bad hombre came in.  You know who I mean.  He was so bad, you wouldn’t believe.  You know what he did?  He pretended to belong, he gained a young girl’s trust, then he killed her.  Well, he tried to kill her by leaving her in front of a fire when she was dying.  But ICE came back…

+1 Far Side reference