That's an awful lot of vomit.

I thought Abe Vigoda was finally, finally dead. He really, really is dead, but is undeniably channeling through Jay Wright.

This wasn’t the small print, what you’re headlining here. This is in big, bold, noticeable letters. He likely had to initial each term listed here. He did this on purpose.

The Los Angeles Angels of Orange County have announced that Mike Trout, Jr., once born, will live in the Angles clubhouse full time. The pitching staff will change diapers, nurse and burp young Trout. The child will not be allowed to leave...until daddy’s skill set dictates a rule change.

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I gave up certain lifelong happiness with the love of my life because I wasn’t convinced her ass would stay pretty much the same size. So declining the goat option is an easy no.

I don’t care that official Yankee team policy sacrifices wide swaths of premium seat sales so that the monied can’t chance Joe from Teaneck and his $1.50 wiping something foul on them.

“Goad”, not “goat”; “traitor”, not “trader”. So it’s writer 1, jock 1.

Rome never reinvented, but we’re dealing with sports talk radio. It’s one-trick-land virtually by definition.

He’s a great straight man. Played it brilliantly right up to the punch line.

Every little kid is taught to fake. The biting reality is that no one does it.

You can never say enough bad things about this bridge-toll troll.

It’s the dirt where the vessel from his home planet crash-landed.

Let Tom spend his timely profiteering in a way that makes everyone happy.

I’ll tell you what his name isn’t: Darko.

So much for Romey hoping the punchee was some sort of former player with defensible size to him.

Even Donald Trump’s most garish positions make perfect sense. Pretty much, all of them.

One of the world’s greatest pairings, way better than Kate Upton L+R, was Juiced Mike Piazza and altitude. The combo was beautiful.

This actually is Jimmy Haslam’s annual Cleveland Browns think tank retreat.

Johnny F’s Affluenza virus will soon be coursing through through his Texas veins at a speed not seen since an escort last jockeyed Jerry Jones’ zippuh.