Puig reflexed his way from 19€ per week to $900 per breath. Who can top that for reflexes?

How many of you are about to cash in your startup-contract options and retire to your personal Puget Sound island?

Jerry Jones is an SNL character melding Ted Stepien and Mickey Rooney.

The end of the article makes the whole piece much more compelling, but only if you substitute 'penis' for 'earpiece'.

Pishpiddle. Tell Whiny to go and read the Unwritten Rules. This sequence of retaliation can be found in there someplace. Or he can talk to God about it. Between reading the Unwritten Rules and talking in person to God, he can square his bizarre aversion to obvious reality.

Sure that isn't Manny Ramirez, post-juice?

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He's been dustin' his johnson indeed.

Nothing says 'RA' like Phil Nevin.

Enough with the numbers. More about The Donald's giant pink bubble gum belly.

The timeless approach to this mania is when Jimmy Piersall kicked a field goal with a marauding knave. What say we sicc Titus Young on the next one, sort of a work release field security guard program. We all win (save the knave).

Titus Young - your coy hijinks can cease. You don't have to play-act any longer. The Lions promise not to recall you. You are free.

Up next in this where-are-they-now series - obviously it is Jm J. Bullock. I only ask you do not post any links to a blurred, washed-out 80's VHS starring him. Particularly homemade.

This article reminds me of how lucky we are, as Americans, to have unfettered access to vowels.

The unfortunate and devastating consequence of a reefer collar is lost access to all Federal Student Loan programs. Robert Mitchum, Gilligan and Snoop Bag were poor role model choices for this man's life trajectory. Forevermore a temp.

Stem cells, a minor league tuneup, and he is better than ever. You can put the platelets in your diddy bag.

This man, this family is unmined reality show gold. Sex, billions, and an octogenarian brat.

Here's wishing the camera caught a guy two knuckles deep instead of making like a bear shaking an evidently thick, freshly-caught salmon.

Del Pratt and Harry 'The Horse' Danning join Jim Bibby in ruing their too-early births.

While an impressively rapid imploder, here we have no Titus Young. Let us not kid ourselves.