you get that the theme for this year is china right?

they’re delicious crunchy little things - humans like them too.

definitely not Asian. we a) eat cucumbers like its going out of style and b) sea cucumbers are a luxury food for us (good sea cucumbers go for $100 - 500/lb) so she would've bought out all the sea cucumbers in the store if she discovered them on salads and sandwiches

...milk shake procedure described above is exactly how I used to make milk shakes when I was working in a coffee shops. They'd just be called milk shakes.

I’m kind of an incurable smartass (which btw is not great for not accidentally offending my managers/friends/people around me).

why would they pretend you’re pregnant instead of their daughter? like wouldnt that be the easiest lie to prove?

This is a pretty awesome dad burn. Not mine, just laughed my head off at it.

Harry Selfridges of London started this the customer is always right bullshit.

the movie you're looking for is 2 weeks' notice

unless you're one of the few people for whom anti histamines don't work for and steroids barely touches the hives...

the problem with that is most of the big china movie stars are absolutely shit at English. Most of the Korean ones are fluent but if they want to not piss off the billions of Chinese people they have to cast Chinese.

omg Margaret Cho as the matchmaker 100%!!!

its her extreme pretentiousness. radiates right off the screen.

Geese is delicious. Especially cooked Hong Kong BBQ duck style.

beef tendons is a high effort low pay off (at least 4-5hrs to properly process beef tendon before cooking) dish. If you got that then they either made a MASSIVE amount of it or really really like you.

why did your mum wanted to adopt everyone?

ok, yeah I have to say, 50 shades of grey is really not very sexy compared to a lot of the older stuff I grew up with (Portia DaCosta, et al) or even the old old Beatrice Small/Virginia Henley stuff which while was seriously politically incorrect, was SO hot. Like that's not just my pre-teen hormone tinged memories…

YES! love these. and they're branching out into light lip colours now with the same moisturizing recipe.

YES! love these. and they're branching out into light lip colours now with the same moisturizing recipe.

I have fond memories of milk in bags from when I was very little in china. That supposedly doesn't happen anymore...

Look, at least your granny knew what cocktails are meant to look like. Went out with my parents for dinner on xmas eve (yes, two months ago) and ordered them cocktails. They were really, really confused by the fact that their cocktails weren't in colourful layers. I was understandably confused and turns out they meant…