*farts*

What's the over/under on being properly rated?

Only if you live in a right-to-twerk state.

Better keep it that way too 'cuz me and the boys'll be waiting for you!

I haven't been to PF Chang's in years, but I remember it being not bad by Americanized Chinese food standards. My issue with it is more like, in any town where there's going to be a PF Chang's, there's undoubtedly a Chinese place that's as good as or better, that won't be as expensive, so there's no real reason to…

I think it helps to think of Chipotle as a "southwestern grill" rather than Mexican. It's not really trying to emulate genuine Mexican cuisines so much as Cali-Mex fusion. It's not fantastic, but it's not bad at all by fast food standards. You can customize the shit out of your entree, so it's easy to get a fairly…

Note: Torti died of listeriosis on his way back to Mexico.

Teenagers = dumb

Just let him babylon.

Bendis eggs sausage and Bendis

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

Lovin' Touchin' Stabbin'

Doesn't matter, you'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

Come on guys, let's give Trump a chance!

Comedy = unspeakable atrocity + time

He means us. I need cash!

I think I'd be most bummed if a woman broke it off with me because she realized she was straight.

I'm Korean and I don't even play Starcraft!

Huh. I've been walking around in public for years dressed as The Toker without being arrested.

They should be able to find some shipping containers full of "I'm With Her" t-shirts from shortly before World War III, provided they survived the radiation.