“ Eventually, a few billion years from now, all the stars in the Milky Way will be extinguished, and the supermassive black hole at center will evaporate into nothing.” - Eventually, yes. A “few billion years”, hell no! 

getting one cheerleader wet

Why are you assuming she didn’t tell anybody? Certainly other people had to know in order to execute it. She just didn’t tell Poe, who likely isn’t in the circle of higher ups that she trusts implicitly.

Yeah, I know that when I have a plan where thousands of lives depend on me, with no knowledge of how the enemy is tracking me and a ship where I know people have tried to jump ship to save their own skins, I definitely tell the plan to the guy who can’t follow orders and literally like one day ago got a bunch of…

“ʰᵉ ʲᵘᵐᵖᵉᵈ ᵃᶰᵈ ʳᵃᶰ...” 

Really nice work here Drew. You might even say this joke was... called well.

1 happened to me in college. I fell asleep on the couch reading Lord of the Rings (“Fellowship,” obviously, probably a Tom Bombadil section) at around 4:15p and woke up in total darkness. I semi-panicked, wondered if the power was out, what time it was, where my roommates were, and if the apocalypse and/or our…

How convenient.

I can think of no worse model for running a football team than the modern CEO. Unfortunately, I can think of no more apt analogy for the way the NCAA FBS schools run their programs, with a head coach that has no loyalty to the program, no accountability for its success or lack of it, is able to make millions while his…

Alabama got a bit confused on the 3/5’s compromise...

I don’t know what Trump’s complaining about. It’s just locker room talk.

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

I completely understand that there are people that do not like guns or the culture around it. I’m ok with that because that’s their right and they have a different perspective of things. I believe this communication of perspective is needed. While I want to be understood in my views, I know I need to be better at…

my friends came and crewed me for a 100 mile trail race i did. I wouldn’t say I was hallucinating, but I had my friend inspecting my shoes for rocks* while he said there were none and that I was crazy. Meanwhile, my math irrefutably showed I was not going to be able to finish based on my pace at the time. I was told…

We already did, and Sinbad was in it

“Jeez, Drew. Everyone knows objectifying women is only acceptable if you also link to the cheerleader’s bio that details her educational credentials or professional aspirations. Also, you must include a ‘boss’ button.” - Gregg Easterbrook

The Verizon Center in DC where the Capitals, Wizards and Mystics play is right downtown and surrounded by museums, parks and historical sites.

Pour one out for Dorsk 81.

“I’ll take Inventive Invectives for $800, Alex.”