Can I mention how lucky I am to have a man who made me wait at a spot at Glacier National Park for 5 minutes for 4 other people to leave in order to ask me, quietly, to marry him. No videos, no cameras, no audience. I am lucky.

If I ever have a daughter, I would want to know that she can kill for domination, control, and humiliation if that's what she chooses.

Ok, so you asking that has LITERALLY FORCED ME to tell a story, because I still find it one of the most amusing things ever.

So... he's single now?

It was actually just a friendly little pea crab waiting to say hello.

Look up Lorna Wendt. Billionaires don't become billionaires by going home and doing laundry and frantically whipping up dinner for 50 of their coolest mogul friends. They have wives for this, who also soothe their fevered brows late at night, raise their children, put well-placed words in the right ears, consult,…

My heart. It bleeds.

That picture brings out one of my peeves. Unless it's supposed to be picked up with your fingers as finger food, do not leave the tail on the shrimp! EVER!
Peel it before serving. The guests should not have to dig through hot meals with their fingers to peel shrimp. The above is obviously a hot meal, and should be…

Hi, I just had post this reply so you could see it in your notifications. It appears some asshole has hacked into your Kinja account and is posting stupid and unnecessary contrarian posts with unnecessary semantics arguments.

I went to Taco Bell and asked for an item without meat. The counter guy, looking at that menu board cash register thing they have, asked "Um...do you want it without beef, or without chicken?"

well, technically they ARE dead....

Huh... that does seem to align with symptoms of ergotism. Anyone doing tests to see if the dogs in question have high alkaloid concentrations in their systems?

Whatever. I just use vaseline. And people are constantly telling me how impalpable I look.

Evil Russians, ranked:

I find that Color Oops works just as well with soaking as it does with long rinsing. Ideally, lie in four or five inches of bathwater, but, if you're creative and determined, figure something out involving a dish pan or a bucket.

I know. I had to force myself to strip for a shower today, and I raced back and got dressed under my covers this morning after it. I was grateful for the blinding sun, though. As annoying as it was, the fact that it was shining on my car hood is, I'm pretty sure, the only reason I got the car started at all.

It's interesting that she notes the "soothing, comforting" aspect of it, because while I'm not normally taken to watching 13 minute make-up videos on the internet, this one gave me the same sensation.

yeah mark you really dropped the ball on this one

GIRL, GIRL, GET THAT CASH