I truly needed this today.

My boss tossed hers down a garburator. Though she's a Yank, so she called it a "garbage disposal". Bless.

Word. I got made fun of for sleeping with a dude who was like, 4'11 and a west coast hippie and was also a ginger! But he had a beautiful face, and the sex was fucking amazing, so...

I kind of suspect my current BF didn't understand at first either.

Holy shit. I think I dated that guy.

Oh, God. I literally sobbed with laughter. Good pic choice.

Well, you won. I don't know if that will make up for it, though.

1) Friend's roommate, 2008. Intercourse in its entirety lasted 30 seconds, for both times combined. No attempt to finish me off, as it were.

I have difficulty making this obvious to people, who will not listen to me despite American history being my field. A system that was designed specifically to commodify people cannot be redeemed by the experiences of a few when so many were treated poorly as dictated and allowed by the law. Those few that did not…

When I was little, I naturally thought babies just showed up one day out of nowhere and I guess for some people this is true.

"Waiters piss in the gravy" is not an opinion, it's an assertion.

So have I? I thought this was common??

The first time I broke my nose, I was talking to a coworker in the smoking room and he yelled something out to me as I was trying to leave. After regarding him briefly, I walked out the door and smashed into the frame so hard I got a concussion and a crushed septum. :)

I would love for her to be gay more than anyone, but there's something so eerie about following people around, speculating on their sexuality. I'm glad I got to grow up into a big queer without that kind of intense scrutiny.

People might be concerned about you or Kinja facing defamation suits if they happen to say something along the lines of, "Red Lobster is a revolting hellhole where all the waiters piss in the gravy," or whatever. Except now I think it's just how people refer to restaurants now.

My last roommate used the same reasoning. Some people never grow out of it.

Somewhat similar tale: When I was a child, I convinced my father to buy me an EZ-Bake Oven because they are swell as fuck. So, I set out to making Wacky Cake (a Southern concoction, I think, no eggs or milk). My mother's recipe was in French, also I was an idiot child, so I dump about a cup of salt into the mix. A…

Ain't even mad, sorry.

Oh, good. They come in multiple colours.

At first I was going to be like, "Oh, come now, that's unfair," but literally just got to a message on page 11 that read, "Anonymous asked: about a quarter to a third of the meals on this blog look actually good, and most of those decent meals happen to be foreign. but hey, if it isn't In 'n Out, it's not good right?…