You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

He laid out Pat Patriot because that Jets fool can’t maul Steely McBeam.

Referee Tony Weeks picks up a hooker. They’re on their way to the motel when she just can’t stop talking about how awesome her vagina is. They get to the room. She takes off her clothes.

You did not win this fight. I am happy to accept defeat, but I did not lose.

The completely empty seats, the inappropriate use of the Seal of the President of the United States, the poor grammar from someone whose job is communication.

I was happily playing the game, marveling at the setting, attention to detail, and variety of things to do, then I arrived in St. Denis and ground to a halt. I can’t put my finger on exactly why I stopped, but it was as if my hands just said, “Nope, we’re not doing this any more” and simply refused to push any more…

It was, in short, all a huge waste of everyone’s time, and the shutdown is no closer to being solved than it ever was.

“Sean McVay is Unavailable.”

That’s what I say to the doubters who tell me that a large pizza isn’t a personal pizza.

If he didn’t kill anyone, then why did he give that quote?

forgot “single origin”

Right because he’s not blind. These refs clearly are.

“I bet he knows the score, though.”

This is exactly why we always schedule our vacation trips for the end of February. It gives us something to look forward to during the Big Dark and gets us out of town just when we’re ready to lose our minds. On Feb. 22 you will find me on a beach in Maui, probably Ulua Beach. Stop by and say “Hi”.

COUNTERPOINT

He said the quiet part loud there. 

the Dora Milaje School for Wishing a Motherfucker Would.

Sis held him in place and went to work on his jaw. She was not playing.

Saturday, March 17th. Shudder. 

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman gets Kenny to put a picture of his ass as his school picture, and gets it put on a milk carton, and those folks with butts for their faces show up at his door looking for their missing son, and he blows a funny fuse because he’ll never see anything that hilarious ever…