Bless your heart.

How are these two statements different in tone?

NO, we don’t. Because they are adorable. And those other people are just wrong. <3

Perhaps the ladies of The View could ease up on the apologizing if they also eased up on the stupid, wildly offensive shit.

I want to live in David Bowie’s head. Or his pants. But mostly his head, because Bowie/Iman is my OTP.

I suppose you CAN get a bottle of Yellow Label if you must, but really.. La Grande Dame is the way to go if you are a truly Fancy Bitch. Cheaping out is never a good precedent to set.

I read the headline and orgasmed. There’s either something very, very wrong or very, very right about this.

Wait what? I had no clue that there were places where ambulance rides were free. There’s no such thing as free - who pays the ambulance folks, then?

NO. Food gifts to the entire department/cube section/etc are appropriate, but there is no way on God’s Green Earth that I’m buying my boss a gift. For that matter, I’ve never received a gift from a boss other than food gifts meant for the group as a whole. What is wrong with people?

Maybe she should listen to Mama Rousey. Mama knows a thing or four.

This just goes to prove that in any group there will be a very few exceptional folks, a vast majority of good folks, and a very few complete asshats.

WHAT? I am married, not conjoined. If you can’t trust the person you married to be alone with someone else, then you can’t trust the person you married. Why did you marry that person?

25 years ago part of our wedding vows read:

Suffer the little children. So very Christian of them.

Why would I have penis envy when I have at least 10 fingers larger than yours?

No, no, dear. I HAVE a twat. I know, words are confusing.

Fuck off. It’s not your face. If you don’t like the way someone else looks, do not look at them.

While I think that the jury makeup MAY be problematic, surely we won’t really know until the trial is concluded. If the DA thought these were the best jurors he or she could get to sit the trial, maybe we should let it play out.

Ew. What male newscaster would appear sitting on Hilary’s lap? This is just.. so grossly unprofessional on both their parts. EW.

Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.