If there’s any deserving party of the remaining Champions League teams, it’s Gianluigi Buffon. If Monaco can’t win it (and I hope to god they do because they are easily the most entertaining team in Europe right now) I hope Juve finally get one for Gigi.

No, it’s ok because he’s a “gritty, hard-nosed guy who brings a lunch pail to work” and not a “flashy, naturally gifted athlete”.

Besides the amazing item itself, my favorite thing about this is the Cardinals fans with their arms open screaming at the umpires to do something about all the unbroken rules that were broken. #bestfans

First by failing to field it cleanly and then by having his throw evaded, Piscotty got cooked twice on that play.

“tremble, world, because we’re now involved in long-term insurgency fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan, AND North Korea!”

Fuck off. You motherfucking warmongers said the same thing about Iraq, A god damned mess that cost trillions of dollars, cost the lives of a million Iraqis, created ISIS, and still isn’t resolved. It’s been well known forever that people get more conservative as they get older and I’m well aware of the phenomenon in…

“wimps like you are so afraid of war”

As a former military officer, I will assure you that war is not the answer to this problem.

We’ve been here before. When Kennedy took office in 1960 he inherited the planned Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba, which of course failed miserably. To regain face he decided to make his stand against international communism in southeast Asia, picking up more or less where the French left off. Vietnam was entirely a…

Set aside all the other reasons to abhor war, this will straight up delay the next iPhone. Rivulets of liquid shit should be running down the back of your legs and pooling in the heels of your New Balance tennies right about now.

SO BRAVE

Her first choice was Ted Cruz......I don’t understand how she thought that would be any better.

Here’s the deal: yes, I did vote for Trump

Hot take: The Jenner Kardashians won’t go away until we collectively stop paying attention to them. Stop giving them their power.

Because “the internet of everything” is the “disrupt” of 2017.

It needs to be connected to WiFi so that it can cost $400.

Yes. I got a coffee machine for my classroom and literally every class had a student who asked why I didn’t get a Keurig. My response was that the coffee maker cost me $9, takes like 30 seconds of work to make a full pot of coffee, and each cup costs about a quarter (much less with a reusable cup) at most. Still…

It’s a $400 juicer that doesn’t actually juice. It just.. opens bags OF JUICE. Someone somewhere was told about this device, told that it literally pours juice from pouches of juice AND YET there are people (read: suckers) who invested millions in to this device.

Two such men, in fact.

You’re assuming a rational thought process from a deeply irrational, egomaniacal man with practically unlimited power.