Me and my friends have a standing agreement. If one of us is at risk of doing something dumb the others are required to slap the shit out of that friend, just to get them back on track.

That’s kind of a disturbing way to talk to someone.

Thank you for centering the victim in your headline. It makes a real difference.

I swear this is true (at least, from my point of view.)

“Murder, He tweeted”

We’re in 2017 — something like this should not happen in America.

What a complete disaster. This was supposed to play instead of the Star Spangled Banner.

Chill out, Darren Wilson. You probably shouldn’t be positing on this site.

FOR GOD SAKE NO ONE TELL BETSY DEVOS!

This is why we watch sports. These moments of pure joy summoned from the almost impossible artistry being conducted on the field. In moments like this, we can forget the drudgery of being an international super model, we can ignore the pulsing anxiety node in our brain that says hey you have to email the crown prince…

Lead us not into relegation, and deliver us from Europa. Amen.

My first reaction was, “what an asshole”. Then I remembered he’s just a kid and kids are dumb and probably thought this was funny and that I’m old and what seems funny to me seems strange to the young generation. I am 12 years his senior and the only time I’ve been on TV it was because I caught a foul ball while I…

I heard that Richard Spencer is pissed that she wasn’t there to protect him too.

The best part of this is that Baio now has to walk around with the knowledge that a petite blonde lady came to his rescue and everyone knows it. He seems like the kind of guy that would be really bothered by that.

She clearly hates him. My theory? She tried to get out when she realized all the work that the First Lady needs to do. But he threw the prenup in her face and told her, if you leave now, you walk away with nothing but your kid. And as a mother, how would she be able to support her son or provide him the opportunities…

This reminds me of how I smile at my boss when we make eye contact and then after she turns aways I crinkle my nose in distaste.

The different shades of red are killing me. The whole ensemble is giving me anxiety.

And these are the people who claim to be Christians.

There's a la petite mort joke in here somewhere.