u r a dummy

What time does your TV show air?

I don’t think it’s a bit much. For example, I would probably still watch The Daily Show if she’d replaced Jon Stewart instead of that no-talent ass-clown that is currently ruining that show.

Articuno is real, OK? This is a good bird, the best bird. I’ve seen many, many birds and I’ve created thousands of nests. If I was elected to head of Pokémon GO I’d work on legendaries, because legendaries are low, it’s incredible. And I would create more creatures in the inner cities, which is what I really do best,…

It’s nice to see Lacy picking up right where he left off last season by not gaining anything.

Dad surprises his son with a cool gift, while taking him to his baseball game, then tells him he loves him while they cry together. You’re a soulless prick.

Video truther BOOOOO get out of here!

How do you smash a plastic bottle?

I am picturing some sort of Indiana Jones weight switch done by a groupie.

Alternate descriptions of home run:

Your friend sounds like an idiot.

In the Australian Open, the balls roll back into the bunker counterclockwise.

(I don’t know his name, all players on the Diamondbacks are nameless faces to me)

Shots fired

Well SOMEONE didn’t watch that first video the whole way through

Zack Hample: [knocks Starscreamsicle out of the way, catches Stanton home run ball]

Giancarlo: “Hey, Siri, send a text that says ‘did you see that shit?!”

I read the story. I still don’t believe that Florida has museums.

The expense account line item read:

“I’ll bet you 10 large that guy is not the real Jordan.”