My cat was such an insatiable foodbag that while some people worry their pets will eat them when they die, I used to worry that he would start on me while I was alive, and that I would wake up to find he had swallowed me up to the knee like a boa constrictor.

My current cats are essentially free fed (we put food in their bowls twice a day when we feed the dogs but they never actually empty their dish. They graze throughout the day - but if they can see the bottom of their damn dishes, they knock the bowls over (metal bowls + basement floor = distinctive sound) as if they…

Not passive aggressive. Aggressive.

Same! But won’t it be a conflict of interest when President Michelle Obama appoints him in 2025?

And for people who are too young, she faced a firestorm for having come out; people demanded she be fired, certain radio hosts called her “Ellen Degenerate” and considered themselves fiendishly clever, and she was basically shunned by craven networks who feared losing their audiences.

Damn I’m gonna miss him.

I teach 4th grade, and one of my kiddos asked if he could do sharing on Friday. He brought in his iPad and started to talk about his favorite singer who had recently died. He played “Let’s Dance” for the class and shared pictures that he found on the internet. It was the sweetest thing ever! Most of the class had no…

I wiki’ed Blac Chyna and learned that her name is really Angela White. Tyga is Michael Stephenson.

Over the last two weeks I have finally been binge-watching P&R. Yesterday I just started Season 4. I’m so glad I finally understand most of these gifs. :D

I’m way too excited

Yesssssss.

I did not make a big speech about why it’s hard to throw out a tampon. I made a “big speech” (does a comment with more than six lines count as a “big speech” now?) about why it would be easy/understandable for people to assume it was okay to flush them. And nice lidded trash cans cost more than ten dollars. I am very…

“Homegirl,” my lovely bathroom trash can does not have a lid, and my “vajay” is perfectly fine, though my nose is sensitive (however thanks very for your touching concern that I’m either diseased or unwashed). And I believe I’ve already covered the fact that I do not, in fact, flush tampons, and shockingly I’m plenty…

omg or toaster strudel. where you had to have iron willpower to not eat the icing directly from the little bag,.

...are....are there such things as NON-frosted pop tarts? that’s blasphemy.

Because paper cups and bags and corn- or sugarcane-based plastic bags and utensils break down in the [damp, microbe-laden] landfills. Because large amounts of toilet tissue break down in the [wet, microbe-laden] sewers. Because bathroom signs often say “do not flush PADS.” Because the disposal bins in commercial…

Only if JLaw liked ladies too... :(

I actually would never make an argument that the Amish are a cult because Amish people encourage their children to go out and experience the secular world and all of its temptations during "Rumspringa." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumspringa