This reminds me of a good friend of mine who is the friend of a friend of the man who tried to rape me. He told me it was a very good thing I hadn’t said anything to the authorities. Because I’d screamed loud enough to be heard by neighbors, had visible bruises and broken skin from fighting him off, and had reported…

My grandfather was a decent man but a blackout drunk. He never hurt anyone or said cruel things, he would just disappear for days/weeks and comeback shaking and with screaming night terrors from WWII. He was a professional boxer and remained huge and muscular even into his 70’s but was still a very gentle man. I think…

When I was in high school, my ROTC instructor used to brag about this one time a female student accused him of sexual abuse, and how the entire community rallied around him to defend him to the school board and eventually shamed the girl so much she had to leave town. I always thought it was bizarre that this was the…

I told my family about the neighbor years later, when I was in college. They responded with an uncomfortable silence, and it has never been brought up again. Thankfully, I have good friends that I am able to talk to (many who experienced similar things).

“Gary why? Gary why?”

Thank you for pointing out one of the biggest obstacles: the old “you could RUIN his life” routine. As though assaulting you didn’t irrevocably damage yours.

I too am ashamed of the way I thought of the girls who were victimized. I think I was judging them as a way of convincing myself that it hadn’t been happening to me too.

Thank you for sharing your story. When I was 9, and playing softball in little league, a girl on my team accused the coach of touching her inappropriately. Everyone accused the girl of lying, because her family was poor, and her dad was an alcoholic. My parents wouldn’t let me play with her anymore, and I can remember…

As the father of two young girls, I cannot imagine. I do not want to imagine actually. The first thing that came to mind reading this (envisioned it really) was running a sword through Howard Lotte’s chest.