“Maury, I am OUT OF CONTROL. Yeah, I use drugs. I do what I want, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don’t use protection! It’s my hot body; I’ll do what I want! I don’t go to school and I kill people! What-evah! I’ll do what I want!” - Eric Cartman

Naw, the word she’s looking for is “tacky”.

She can’t possibly fight hauling those sacks of water around. (OTOH, maybe she could drown her opponents.)

Will John McCain live to see the vote?

*not withstanding.

That’s a great suit. What’s the lining?

Cumberbatch isn’t as much of a surprise as J.K. Simmons. Mild-mannered looking 61 year old character actor. He got RIDICULOUSLY ripped for Justice League.

She was charming on the Daily Show last night. Apparently she’s a 2nd degree black belt in taikwondo and was sort of brushing it off to Trevor....

I’ll admit, every time I watch the Tour de France, I wonder about the mysterious “nature breaks” the cyclists take. I mean, it’s 6 hours on a bike each day; they’re constantly hydrating; they eat lunch on the bike. But somehow a massive group of 200 cyclists all manage to hide the nature breaks. They are forbidden to…

“The answer to the question What Happened asks is quite simple. What happened? The rest of us wised up.”

It’s hard to understand how these idiots can back a bill that screws over 50% of the population, with particular regard to the way that 100% of the population are brought kicking and screaming into this world. I mean, do Bill Cassidy and Lindsey Graham assume that they sprang forth fully formed from their fathers’…

(Hands over feminist card)

“the sound of a Slavic accent introducing the President”

Sounds like Family Guy’s preview of “Passion of the Christ II.” Jesus busts through a door holding a machine gun.

Don’t bring The Boss into this mess.

“It’s my hot body, I DO WHAT I WANT!!!”

This is a South Park episode come to life. The one where Cartman goes on the talk show circuit as a “troubled teen”.

“You can’t do you when you got no you to do.”

To be fair....sometimes you need the industrial strength toilet. I’m not passing bricks, but my toilet at home is wimpy and will clog if you look at it wrong. The toilets at work were built to handle anything.

I know, right? My mandatory “volunteering” for US Goverment class involved directing people to open booths at a polling station during an election. Hers involved rigging an election. That’s worth super duper extra credit.