Kudos for the quick maneuver and saving of the kids brains.

Many of the evenings during the last two years of high school were spent with my girlfriend in the back of my car, making out and having sex. We would park in the woods at a nature preserve near her home or in a local farmer's field because neither one of us had parents who would appreciate us screwing at all, let…

This happened to my best friend in high school. He was having sex with this girl he had been dating a little bit for the first time. She insisted she wanted to but was lying there stiff as a board with very little movement and her eyes closed. He kept hearing her mutter something under her breath over and over. He was…

One time I was with a dude for the first time and right in the middle of fucking he half-shouts "WHOSE PUSSY IS IT?!"

Several years ago, I was dating a wonderful woman who was eight years older than me and had a 5 year old daughter. It was her first experience dating since her divorce, and my first experience dating somebody with a kid (I was only 20 at the time), so we both agreed that we'd wait awhile before I was introduced to her…

Around 2AM after the bars had closed, I'm awoken by a knocking at my door. Its my roommate and under his arms are two women, and they are all drunk and happy. "Hey, man, did I wake you? This is Kim. Kim, this is the roommate I was telling you about, he's awesome!" I quickly surmised that he had picked these two up in…

Okay, here is mine.

I'll give you awkward. It, of course, involves being a teenager.

I had a guy stop in the middle of doin' it doggie-style, pull his pants back up and say, as he walked out my front door, "I'm sorry. I'm used to fucking strippers and this isn't working for me." He was referring to my pubic (and probably bum) hair, which he had already made several comments about. I am fair and even…

I used to hook up with this hot but also kind of creepy older firefighter in high school. We would go for drives and make out and pretty everything but PIV because I was a virgin and I was like "no fucking way am I going to want this situation to be a memorable experience, but I'm horny so whatever finger me in the…

Well, there was the time I sprained my hip and accidentally golden showered all over a hot guy during morning sex.

I was seeing this girl when I was a freshman in college. Not serious, but not un-serious, you know? Up to this point, we had not really gone past first base, but had bee sleeping together (in the literal, bed-sharing sense) off and on for a few weeks.

I was dating this guy, and I was attracted to him on an intellectual level because he was so creative, but the physical attraction wasn't very high. He was kind of an awkward lover - if we switched from me on top to him on top, instead of rolling over, he'd stand up on the bed while I laid down. And not only would he…

I was bartending and she was another bartender at the same club. We'd always playfully flirted and were sort of friends in the work friend sort of way. She was in her thirties so "older" (jesus fuck).

It was sophomore year in college. I was seeing this guy, Joe, who was really just awful. He cheated and lied constantly, yet I couldn't stay away. We were on a break and he came over to my dorm to try to get back together. Perhaps he had just watched American Pie because he suggested oral sex as a way to win we…

It was a hot summer night, and my friends and I were hanging out with some new neighbors. One of them was super cute, and I had just gotten out of a relationship, and I was hot to trot. I basically ended up telling his friend that if this guy was DTF, I was a sure thing.
So, of course, he comes back to my place.
Looking…

It was in grad school where I had a hook up buddy classmate. We would study together, and she would give the best bjs in the world. One time when she was blowing me, I came without warning and my cum went up and through her nose/nostrils, looking like white snot. LOLs were had by us all, and a kleenex was put to kind…

So this didn't involve any actual sex, but I invited a guy I'd seen a couple times in for a nightcap. I poured us a couple of drinks and went to use the bathroom, expecting to come out and talk a bit, make out, see where things went. He apparently had a different idea because I came out of the bathroom to find him…

Edited to give you a preview before tl;dr: this is the tale of a man called Barfsnatch.

Dude I met on OKCupid. Had a condom on, two thrusts, and boom! It's over, Johnny. Try again - same thing happens. And to top it off, he was 24 years old and still slept with a stuffed animal. I couldn't get the fuck out of his apartment fast enough.