Jon Voight bit you?

Sweet justice. Newman, you are wise.

What's the deal with decaf? How do they get the caffeine out of there, and then where does it go?

Everything goes with naked.

You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa.

Mr. Kramer, let me tell you a story. In 1979 I ticketed a brown Dodge Diplomat for parking in a Church Zone. That fine was never paid, and since then that scofflaw has piled up more parking tickets than anyone in New York City. For sixteen years I pursued him, only to see him give me the slip time and time again. I…

If I could talk to the mothers and have sex with the daughters, then I'd really have something going.

Well, that's not really a meal, Jerry. I mean if he had gotten Chicken Gumbo, or Matzah Ball, or Mushroom Barley, then I would agree with you. Those are very hearty soups.

The poor baby.

Festivus is all too real. And I could prove it…if I had to.

I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

Oh! A new cartoon! "I wish I was taller."

"…and the Jews steal our money through their Zionist occupied
government and use the black man to bring drugs into our oppressed white
minority communities."

Hellooooo! I got beamed with a giant ball of oil!

You don't even know what a write-off is.

You have screwed me again, Pennypacker!

The difference is negligible.

Because if there's any doubt at all, I - I feel we should cultivate it.

Seinfeld's van!

It's cleavage. I couldn't look away. What am I, waiting to win an Oscar here? This is all I have in my life.