I do not know how, or under what circumstances the four of you found each other, but your callous indifference and utter disregard for everything that is good and decent has rocked the very foundation upon which our society is built.

You know, people think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.

That's the way they do it in Vegas.

So…you're the Assman.

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

Crackers in a bowl. That - that could be a meal.

At least it's show business.

I choose not to run.

I've never seen a beautiful lady reading The Guide so far away from a TV.

TAAAAAAMMMMMAAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!!!

It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.

I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.

I have cancer!

Well I was shaving, and I noticed an asymmetry in my chest hair, and I was trying to even it out. Next thing I knew - gone!

Hey, this guy's a Commie!!

Glamour?

I went out on a couple of dates with this woman, I thought she really
liked me, and then things kind of…cooled off.

That chimp's alright.

It must take a really, really big zit to KILL a man!

This is going to be a shame.