And stock quotes.

Who am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to, strangers?

Get rid of the exclamation points.

Brett is so generous, and sensitive. Last night, he was moved just listening to a song.

You know, you got some real strong pecks, but it's hard to tell under that T-shirt.

I don't know what this is supposed to be.

You know, sex in a tub - that doesn't work!

I'm exhausted. I've been on this street a thousand times. It's never looked so strange. The faces…so cold. In the distance, a child is crying. Fatherless…a bastard child, perhaps. My back aches. My heart aches. But my feet - my feet are resilient! Thank God I took off my heels and put on my HIMALAYAN WALKING SHOES!

That's my move! I'm gonna kill him!

It didn't take.

I don't know what to say to reassure this woman, and worst of all, I don't have the time to say it. The only excuse she might possibly have accepted is if I told her I am in reality Batman, and I'm very sorry, I just saw the Bat-Signal.

What was my father doing with a man in a cape? Why a cape?

It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.

This is Puddy.

HAPPY FESTIVUS!!

Happy Festivus!!!

Happy Festivus!

HAPPY FESTIVUS!

Happy Festivus!!

Happy Festivus!