Let me tell you something about show business. It's hard work. You don't just write a Murphy Brown.

How do they work the bride and groom out? What, do they flip a coin?

I need a guy that can rig a Frogger machine so that I can move it without losing power, because I have the high score.

A tempting schmear of authentic Jewish delicacies.

Lord of the manor.

Excellent. Excellent.

You know, in two months' time, everybody's gonna be wearing the pirate look.

You've been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend, the bad fiancé, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk, the bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen.

"I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true. A few days ago my girlfriend happened to mention to me how attractive our new neighbor Linda was…"

Jackie O. was a great lady. Those are going to be some tough shoes to fill. Everyone loved her. She had such…grace.

Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is
round. They should call it Roundtine.

Often, I sit…and yearn.

He was not…master of his domain.

Here's your pizza, pea-brains.

Hey, Jerry, remember Frogger? I used to be so into this game. Getting that frog across the street was my entire life.

It's my favorite movie.

I go out for a quart of milk, I come home and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!

You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things!

He kept repeating it over and over again. He had to be institutionalized.

But machines do everything else.