So what? It's a nipple. A little round circular protuberance. What's the big deal? Everybody's got them. See? I got them.

Situation number four: You're breathing on your own, you're
conscious, but with no muscular function.

Wait a second. Mr. Pennypacker, if you're here, and Mr. Vandelay is also here, then who's watching the factory?

I’m like Hitler’s last days here.

I mean, it would be nice. I'm not gonna lie to you and say it wouldn't be nice.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

That's a shame.

My cleaning lady's Portuguese. I must've picked it up.

I wrote a 20 minute bit about how homework stinks.

We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the hand right from the opening.

I promise you, my fellow New Yorkers, that Mayor Giuliani will do everything possible to cleanse this city of this falsified non-fat yogurt.

Ted Danson is not even on the network anymore.

You're right.

Patty Lorens had orgasms, what do you think about that? And I got calls in to six other women, and I bet you they confirm an orgasm, too.

This terrorist had a specific demand: no more cheap adjustable hats on Hat Day. He wants fitted hats, just like the players wear.

Oh, very convincing.

What's the problem?

I love her, Jerry. She's so authentic. I really believe everything is actually happening to her. There's no acting there.

Oh, that Meryl Streep - she's such a phony-baloney!

Yeah, he's a real phony.