There's no Moops.

It's just a write-off for them.

I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she'd be spinning.

You're pretentious. You call everyone by their full name. You call my doorman, Sammy, "Samuel," but you didn't even say "Samuel," you went, "Sam-u-el." "Papie-eh mach-eh." What is "papie-eh mach-eh"?

Once I find a barber I stick with him. I almost went to barber school. I always felt I had a talent for it.

The woman is a menace.

AstroTurf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you? The Jews!

I mean, aren't we entitled to make one mistake in our lives?

I got the body of a taut, pre-teen, Swedish boy.

It strikes me a lot of guys are doing that kind of humor now.

T-bone!
T-bone!
T-bone!
T-bone!
T-bone!

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!!

That's your problem. You should be.

El Diablo! Dios mio! El Diablo!!

I gotta pay this Todd Gack guy $300 bucks just so he has some excuse to see Elaine again without asking her out.

Showmanship! Maybe that's what my gonorrhea is missing.

I'm a seat filler. They don't like to see empty seats on TV, so when somebody gets up, I just park my caboose on their spot until they get back.

I just saw Joe DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts.

Is this about me?

I think that's a good idea.