There's more to life than making shallow, fairly-obvious observations.

Don't touch.

You shouldn't have been looking at some fifteen year-old's cleavage anyway!

All these years I'm living in a community, I had no idea.

No Bette Midler?

I'm just not ga-ga over her. For once I'd like to be ga-ga.

That's the spirit. You suck!

Jon Voight's car.

Very tasty.

Strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight?

I like to go in fresh!

Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats!! We're trying to watch the movie! And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna SHOW you what it's like! You understand me?

I enjoy being the theater cut-up. Last week, after a preview, I yelled out, "Must miss!"

Ted Danson makes $800,000 an episode.

Well, at least you probably had some pretty good make-up sex after.

A plane crash? A heart attack? Lupus? Is it Lupus?

The beauty of my book is, if you don't have a coffee table, it turns into a coffee table.

I don't know how you lasted as long as you did.

You've never met my wife, Meryl? Meryl Seinfeld.

I'm proud of you.