I've had bedroom naked, I've had walk-to-the-bathroom naked. I have never had living-room naked.

What the *beep* are you doing? You little piece of *beep*!

Joey Zanfino and some of the neighborhood kids, they ambushed me with a box of Grade A's.

So we got an attractive woman, wearing a bra, no top, walking around in broad daylight. She's flouting society's conventions!

You don't have to humiliate me about it, alright!

You win, okay? You win. I can't do it any more. What do you want from me? An apology? Alright, I'm sorry. There, I said it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

They're Jujyfruit. I like them.

I'm feeling something. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

It was a bad jig to begin with. We never should have started this jig.

I'm sorry. I gave you gonorrhea because I thought you'd have fun with it.

Let me tell you something. No one walks into a beauty parlor and says, "Give me the Larry Fine."

I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.

The kissing thing is over. There's no more kissing, and I don't care what the consequences are.

You're going to walk into that courtroom, and the jury's going to see a mean, nasty, evil George Costanza. I want them to see Perry Como. No one's going to convict Perry Como.

Oh my god! Look at that picture - it's terrible! You can't put that picture up!

I believe that I am about to become the target of a systematic process of intimidation and manipulation, the likes of which you have never -

I really appreciate you doing this.

Mulva?

That sounds about right!

It is not me that has been exposed, but you! For I have seen the nipple on your soul!