I don't have to tell you she was a knockout…

You know, there is an unusual number of people in this country having sex with AMPUTEES!

That's who I care about - the little kid who needs bootlegs, because his parent or guardian won't let him see the excessive violence and strong sexual content you and I take for granted.

Yes, I'm free - ♫'cause the murderer struck again!♫

I really like this guy who's playing the butler.

I see many dogs on my mail route. I'll bet there's not one type of mutt or mongrel I haven't run across. If you ask me, they have no business living amongst us. Vile, useless beasts!

The question is whether you'd rather date the blind or the deaf.

Why isn't it moving?! What can go wrong with a train?! It's on tracks, there's no traffic! How can a train get stuck?!

What's the deal with Ovaltine?

I fell asleep in the hot tub and the heat pump broke.

I know you're there, laughing at me. Laughing and lying and laughing! I had to go to Reggie's, Jerry! Reggie's!

I remember when I was a kid, some guy tried to heighten. He lost his job, lost his friends - everything.

It's "little people." You got that?

What is this fascination?! Who cares? It's all so boring.

You're good with the mothers.

Sack Lunch?

I like stuff you don't have to think about too much.

This is all too much.

Oooh, you're getting an air conditioner for Amy. Amy doesn't like the temperature up here. She's a little hoooot.

You enjoy your last meal in office. Tomorrow, when they kick you out, you'll have plenty of time to drive around in your Cadillac.