@DrJamesAndrews: Just write "see me after class" on the board, and hope you get lucky. Dean Rooney did it all the time to the second graders.

@Phintastic: Twist!

@DrJamesAndrews: Come on, not substantial? This is a substance that poisons all other life that we know, yet this bacteria can use it to build its fucking DNA! Now, its been a long way from college astrobiology, but I'm pretty sure that expanding the possible number of baseline atoms that can make up life is hugely…

@comment_ninja: The self-deprecating bloody tampon/heavy flow thing was a nice tactic to avoid coming off like a preachy, condescending prick. But running a sports blog does not make you the fucking arbiter of humor.

@Phintastic: I'll assume that was directed at me and say no, I am 5'10''.

@Fallopian Tubing: No, just out of college. Not playing sports or exercising causes me to lose weight. What can I say?

@vodkanaut: For the final day of Hanukkah my uncle Nero keeps promising me a "very special" candle.

@vodkanaut: I like to follow the 24/7 rule myself. If over 24, or 7, you've lost me. What can I say? I'm a leukeophiliac.

DUAN

@ZuckercornEsquire: depends on whether or not you see it in 3-D and try to cum all over Rapunzel's hair. Most likely you'll want to do it before, just to cover your bases.

@Phintastic: I've got to ask: is there a secret cabal of people who message each other from the earlier days of the site, where they plot in secret with Craggs for the next days jokes?

@Donte Stallworth Driving School: Skydiving. It worked well for me. For a bit.

@Big_Sloppy: Cool World. Not because its good, but because it needs to be seen. It makes you realize how talent + movie executives equals a train wreck, even when you can see the talent in front of you.

@FavreFAIL: The thing I realized in my LSAT prep was that At some point, you'll end up scoring consistently in a range, and from there, it depends on the test day. I scored on my practices (I took about 10 self and friend-proctored ones), I scored between 165 and 172, with a one time high of 175. When I took it for…

@Howie Long,Hamburger Dude: I got my star based on my photoshopping skills, and when I post non-photoshop stuff (minus DUAN), I follow all the rules delineated here by Azure_Texan. It really is just a mixture of immediacy and funniness. But don't overthink it. Most people suck for a while when they start, but the…

J-E-T-S sucks sucks sucks!

@FIFA-Thespian-Federation: And to think, I've been assuming the elephant is a fan this whole time! Its so obviously a snake!

I couldn't figure out why the crowd was chanting "Woodhead is Jesus", but then I opened my advent calendar and realized that the tiny choclate inside did, in one way, resemble Danny Woodhead.

@Prick Top: Its ok, I just graduated and have my life ahead of me. First thing I'm doing? Leaving the country to follow in Sheed's Bald Spot's footsteps.

Not to nitpick, but the better graph of Nash is further down the page.