Can we get a #tampatexasopenthread? Or did last nights DUAN mean nothing to you?

@Daveinva: BOOONNNNEESSS!!!!!!!!

@Sheed's Bald Spot: What do you call it when you're in a bong circle with the members of Tenacious D?

'Soap Star' Joe was never one to fuck and run.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: What do you call in when a running back trades in Rex Ryan for Bill Belichick?

@skahammer: So you're saying I could be using Google for something other than searching for photos of a ten year old Jennifer Connelly?

But where are the wild sex parties? And also, this sounds like every other time a sponsor has decided to get involved in a sport. Toyota racing, anyone?

I'm over the whole, "Oh my God, I might be gay if I do this!" part of the process. It's not like the girl still has a mouthful of cum she's just aching to deliver to your mouth after she's finished with you. HERE, HERE! NOW YOU TRY IT! Chances are, she's either spit it out or swallowed it entirely, or dodged the…

@tastes_like_burning: He's behind Kyle Orton though in BOR rating (beards over replacement).

I'll just leave this here.

I just found my self screaming "Nooooo!" at the TV as Woodhead made a special teams tackle.

Christopher Marlowe had to sign a similar plea where he had to rename his play "A Jew of Malta". Sadly, the Jew of Malta eventually got his revenge.

Promise not to laugh? I always wanted to own the Dallas Cowboys.

@Murray Hewitt: It fell out of popularity with the rise of the then-revolutionary "fumble-interception-sack-fumble-interception" combo that gained popularity under head coach and co-ordinator Mike Martz.

@Smokey Tornado: Yes.

It appears Jay Cutler changed his name at half time to Todd Collins.

@See you suckers later: Why some html tags, but not others?

@vodkanaut: When he came back from the dead, it took two women and ten men to convince the rest of the world he was the savior. But the road to redemption isn't over for Michael Vick.

Come on Eagles! I put you in a two team parlay with Ron Mexico's Death Machine, and he's already covered!

So close, Hickey, so close.