girl, her dress is latex. her gloves are latex. the stripper platforms are very much intentional. trust.

This is a bad take.

If only the people of Hitachi had some sort of magic wand to fend off these sea demons.

I love watching terrible movies on long flights—like, when I’m home, am I gonna watch Aquaman? No, the hell I am not. But when it’s 3:37 am and I’m 4 hours into a 7 hour flight and everyone around me is sleeping? Bring on Aquaman! I need something to dull my mind and the pain of flying and I’m not downloading that…

Holly Rice?  So that’s why we kept getting shots of “Holly” and “Arroz” streets?  Cute.

My favorite parts of the movie was the reveal that Badger bought Skinny Pete cologne for Christmas, and Todd being unable to stop wondering what his cleaning lady might’ve been looking up in the encyclopedia.

She also wrote ‘Killing Eve’, which was, to put it mildly, very successful.

Wow, that is utterly insane.

Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

its just you

As a teenager, I made a friend at camp and decided to travel cross state, a year later, to spend the weekend with her. I had my Ukranian BF in tow. My friend’s mom picked us up at the rural bus stop early in the morning and drove us up into the mountains where they lived. As we pulled in, she snorted to see a car in…

Worked as a tour guide at Universal Studios decades ago when it was just a movie studio tour. Part of the tour included presentations on things like special effects, lighting and the like in two converted sound stages. Between the two sound stages was a pay phone. As tourists lined up to enter a sound stage, I would…

A footnote in Chapter 37 of Edward Gibbon’s superb History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, written around the 1780s:

Judd and Pam are the best Real World couple.

And predators can have children, too. Just because someone is “Joey’s dad” doesn’t mean he’s not also a child abuser. In fact, most child abuse is committed by someone who knows the child and the child’s family very well. So it’s cold comfort that the adults are usually related to scouts.

That’s the entire point: Sharon Tate was a happy human being bearing a child with a bright future ahead of her, and then four assholes mutilated her and made her into a historical footnote about maniacal horror in suburban America. It’s actually pretty rare for a Hollywood film to memorialize someone who has famously…

Don’t do this, just don’t do this. Unless you are Panama, his wife or their children’s pediatrician don’t do this. This is a sweet story about the marvels of children, this is a father feeling that we might want to read about how his son is sweet, shy, likes different things (which toddlers often do), and has love for…

Decent ratings and reasonable intelligence usually help, plus cachet from being on The Daily Show. Wait, do I need to put that in all caps for you to understand?

“I have known Emperor Palpatine for many years, and while I supported and helped fund his efforts to construct a Death Star, I did not support his decision to blow up Alderaan”

Love to write shitty Penthouse Forum letters about my sex life that also mention superfluously that I went to Harvard.