It took me two trips to the hospital and bullshit misdiagnosis of an STD before I figured out that Nonoxonyl-9 and my urethra are not compatible. I was fine with missionary, but girl on top and a condom with spermicidal lubricant = trip to ER in greatest pain of my life.

I know what the DS definition of a unicorn is, but, seriously, I think women who want to have sex with married men that don't actually want to break apart said marriage, have to be in, at least, the Ivory Billed Woodpecker level of scarcity. I'd tell Blueballls to get a divorce.

I've been married to a vegetarian for over a decade. If keeping a meatless house was a requirement, there never would have been a second date.

I remember when I was in law school driving around campus looking at all the thin, young undergrads in their short shorts, and I said to my friend, look at all the leglings. Then we saw a pair walking hand in hand across the street, and I dubbed them dykelings.