@Valkyrie607: Seriously, why would you go on stage and not want half the room to laugh?

Um, but you compared funny comedians to comedians that suck, regardless of sexual orientation. What about Gilda Radner? Tina Fey? Amy Poehler?

@MsPipCheerio: Wow, you expressed exactly what I've felt all of my life. The thinking who ever compliments you is lying thing definitely hits home — I'll hear someone say my weight is fine and think "Ugh, you're just lying to make feel better so I'll shut up already."

I've hated him ever since he called Lily Allen fat. Different kind of douchery, yes, but body-snarking (especially from a physically far larger individual as himself) is douchery regardless.

@cand86: Maybe it depends on the jurisdiction. That's a state law thing, not federal.

Clearly, it's my fault for hitting puberty at age 11 because I was just some little slut who grew hips and tits to spite everyone. In 6th grade, I was naturally running around in a latex catsuit yelling "Fuck y'all, I got titties!"

@betsysboys: And 26 years later, I take it your man is still "stuck with" a brilliant and sexy woman worthy of a kick-ass promotion. I wonder how your good ol' former friend is doing these days?

@PaintedTrollop: Ha, true! Though at my school, band was restricted to kids who could actually afford to pay for their own instruments, so there was a definite distinction between socioeconomic classes of nerd.

Drama and Glee have always provided a safe haven to the outcast kids. I really hope that they can continue to do that and aren't taken over by the popular ones. Which makes me sound like a bitter 16 year old, I know, but in most American high schools, where else do the outcast kids go from there?

Am I the only one cracking up by how much this must have annoyed Jerry Seinfeld? "What's the deal with Gaga?!"

@FroderickFronkensteen: Seriously, if you're watching a Mets or Yankees game and you DON'T see a middle finger, you're probably actually just watching from a nursing home.

@MollyGrue: They're doing the opposite of what coffee shops do!

Their loss, because I'm a size large down below, and that's because I've got an ass that belongs in the Met — and wasn't this the same company seeking out America's best ass in the first place? It's too bad that mine and any other size L+ glorious glutes are just too much for them to handle.

@coloredmaps: Um, welcome to Jezebel. You seriously don't understand the point she was trying to make?

Hi, I'm a 22 year old American. Born in March of '88. Ask me about anything you're worried my generation might not know about, and I'll answer truthfully about whether I know what/who you're talking about — without any Googling/Wiking/asking/etc.

@amake616: If you'd like to become familiar with 'nooch' in its 90s slang use, don't start with "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" since that's for seasoned Kevin Smith fans. Go for "Mallrats" — plenty of "nooch" used in that movie. Oddly enough, it doesn't actually really mean anything aside from "Awesome!" or "Yeah!",…

Hey Katy Perry, thanks for making my life as an actual bisexual woman AWESOME. It's great that everyone thinks I'm just doing it for attention, or just to hop on some kind of trend. Oh, and thanks for pairing your faux-mosexuality with songs like "Ur So Gay", topped off with the casual misogyny of claiming to be "one…

@amake616: The "nooch" thing is cracking me up because I'm reminded of Jay and Silent Bob. Snooch to the nooch!

@velcrosneakers: Please explain?

@WaffleCopter: SHARE! CLEAN! FIX! VISIT! CARE! GIVE! DO!