Oh, I can see it now. Your mirthful nature's shining right on through. 

You should probably stay away from the comedy if you're going to take it that literally. 

“the recording was made last Friday, when she and her son were at a trampoline park.”

Me: Reads post, nods, looks at horizon. “The #grit takes are coming, aren’t they?”

Adam Shefter is definitely the hard seltzer of sports reporters, so this makes sense on that level.

Maybe it doesn’t apply to Schefter or Woj, but I suspect this is the only way reporters will be able to make a living in 5 years. 

I mean, that’s a pretty standard response to anyone who asks if they can bring their kid to your wedding, when it clearly says no children on the invite. Don’t care if you’re a Cousin, no kids!

Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep’s skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody.

Here’s a question: is CTE from playing FOOTBAW going to be an electoral asset, or a liability? On the former side, you can always attribute any particularly stupid thing you say to the CTE; on the latter, you still say stupid shit.

Typo jokes? Is this Deadspin still?

I read an article about this sandwich over the weekend where the author said they lived in West LA and couldn’t find a Popeyes anywhere in the area, so they had to drive 15 miles away. I happen to also live in West LA and know for a fact that there’s a Popeyes in the Crenshaw district just 5 miles east at Jefferson…

Now, after his ALS diagnosis, he says he has no regrets.

Did this sound good in your head? 

I know we’re all dying in the Sylvia Plath sense but you’re not dying the way Chloe over there is dying.

That must get like 2 MPG.

Screw you Max!

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.