Someone up thread had an awesome tale about Tootsie Rolls. Jogged my memory!!! I was about 6 years old and finally found a way into my parents’ candy stash. I stole a bunch of Tootsie Rolls and went to my room to binge in private. My busy body younger side came in while my mouth was FULL and asked what I was eating.…

I can only imagine him telling his grandkids about this some day.

By a toilet seat off the space station.

Based on his upbeat response to this terrible accident it would be a great story if Imhof can work hard and continue his career, but I’m afraid he’s going to lose focus.

Thanks Ms. Orwell:

Rapekopf is supposed to be a writer - unaware that words have several meanings and sometimes can be used as metaphors or similes...

I could sit down and see The Block from every conceivable angle, but what for? It’s not an argument with my wife.

Jeez, who ISN’T on first!

Really, truly not shocked to hear this. Honestly, who would be? While the vast majority of men are not rapists, the minority that are do it a lot.

Barry, I thoroughly enjoy the daily 9 AM hockey article. Thanks

The only reason he joined Twitter is because someone told him he could block people.

The nerve of some peephole...

The Blackhawks wouldn’t be so good if the other goalies would just make a few Soews.

Could he play both parts? A dual role? Wake up to the sight of his own bloody toupee?

Well, that’s easy.

If I could go back in time, I’d have lunch with Adolf Hitler in Vienna, 1912, before he had fully embraced antisemitism. We’d talk about what his plans were for the money from his father’s estate and have a passionate discussion on the merits of zonal marking on set pieces. Hitler would order the schnitzel, and I, the…

Our American Cousin.

They are tremendously bad at swimming though. I was a swimmer in high school and swam on a club team in college and I could absolutely torch 95% of Olympic triathletes.

As a production assistant who has been screamed at by Sarah Jessica Parker for not supplying green only M&Ms and enough Evian to shower in, I can tell you there is nothing more terrifying than a horse with an unfamiliar rider.